A New Life

Yesterday marked a very special five year anniversary that is near and dear to my heart. Inspired by and entitled after my husband's best friend's blog, I wanted to share my conversion story to our church. It is something that I love talking about because it was such a wonderful amazing time in which marked a complete change in myself, and the start of a brand new life. With the fall season and the brisk cold air around, it always brings me back to this very special time in my life.

I had just graduated high school, started up at our local junior college, and I was seriously contemplating life, its meaning and purpose, and just which direction I should be headed. Growing up, God wasn't talked about in my home and we never went to church not even on holidays. The only religion I was exposed to was through some relatives on occasion and mainly through my grandparents who are very religious. As a young girl and through the influence of my grandma, I had my first communion in the Lutheran church, but as I got older I never went to any church, although some of the teachings from the Bible stuck with me and I feel now that this time in my life laid a perfect foundation for what was in store. Throughout my childhood I went to different Christian churches and Catholic churches and none of them felt quite right to me. My grandmother convinced me one time around the age of 10 or 11 to go to a tent revival. This was notably one of the craziest experiences of my life! People were chanting, closing their eyes, waving their arms in the air, and speaking in tongues (this is weird gibberish that doesn't make any sense), and then they were claiming to be so filled with the "Holy Spirit" that they were falling backwards into chairs, meanwhile the music in the background was getting louder and louder. With people falling down left and right, the Pasteur was wondering why I was the only one who wasn't falling over, so they laid their hands on me and starting praying/speaking in gibberish on me to get me to fall over. Well, I felt something that night and I don't think that it was any spirit from God. Even as a 10 year old I was questioning why God would want someone to fall over into a chair and get hurt meanwhile speaking stuff that no one can understand? So needless to say, I went a long time with many questions unanswered.

Being in college and starting this new chapter of life, left me feeling empty. I just knew that something was missing and I wasn't quite exactly sure what it was. I had a feeling that it was religion or rather a yearning for a deeper knowledge of what I know now as "The Great Plan of Happiness." I had questions that I was wanting answered and emptiness that I needed filled. Like "Why are we really here on earth?" and "Is there more out there, than just living day to day going through these motions of life?" So I started going to different churches. I went to one Christian church where this girl that I worked with went and sang at in the band. During this time my brother, strangely enough, was searching for religion as well. He starting talking to some Jehovah's Witnesses, and him and I would talk about different doctrines together. Each church I went to or learned about still never felt quite right to me.

One day in my freshmen English class the teacher told us to get in groups of three and read to one another each other's essays without giving any criticism. I had noticed that a friendly looking boy who dressed really odd had starting sitting up in the front row next to me lately, which I found out later was because he couldn't hear in the back of the class. So I just formed a group with this young man and one other sitting by us and we introduced ourselves. This boy introduced himself as JJ and I don't know what the other boy's name was, doesn't matter. So we began reading our essays out load to one another. I have always loved writing papers and editing so I just couldn't contain myself and had to tell him a better way of writing this part in his paper....totally ignoring the teacher who said to not give any criticism. It was constructive anyway ;) I find out later that JJ was thinking "Who does girl girl think she is, when the teacher said not to give criticism!" Anyway he got over it, and after class JJ and I began talking. I asked him how old he was and he said 22, and I said, "Why are you so old in a freshman English class?" and he said, "Because I spent two years and served a mission for my church." I said, "Ahh really, what church is that?" and he said, "The church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" and I said, "Is that Mormon?" and he said, "Yes it is." Well this initial conversation got me interested in his religion and why on earth someone would dedicate two whole years of their life to it. Week by week we started cultivating a friendship and after class we would spend hours just discussing his religion. I wanted to know every detail, so everyday I would come with a new question or some crazy thing that I had heard about the Mormons for him to answer. I began to really like and understand the things that I was learning, although with each new question I would bring up, I was convinced there was no way he could answer it in a way that was pleasing to me and then I could find a new religion to try. But he would show me in the scriptures and talk to me so that I really understood each doctrine. He gave me my own Book of Mormon to study and said that I could find out for myself if the things that he was saying were true, and that if I prayed with a sincere heart and real intent to want to know if the Book of Mormon was true and if Joseph Smith was truly a prophet, that Heavenly Father would answer my prayer and then I would know for a surety for myself. I loved how the church didn't just say, here are the true doctrines, now you should believe them, but they actually wanted me to find out for myself by asking and praying to God.

We starting spending more and more time together, and he introduced me to the singles ward and their activities as well as the LDS institute which was right across the street from our school. Probably wondering when the romantic feelings came into the picture? not for a little while. We were becoming great friends and I was still really trying to understand this new religion and see if it was right for me. I wanted to be sure that I made a life change for the right reasons. After many experiences together and talking about doctrines he asked me if I had read the Book of Mormon, I told him that I was reading it and that when I read it, it felt as though it is God's words that I was reading. When I would read the Book of Mormon I could feel good feelings, and that I felt that the book was true doctrine. When JJ heard this he was completely in shock that I had been reading it and even more amazed at the feelings I shared with him that I felt as I read from the book. He told me that those feelings were the Holy Ghost testifying to me of the book's truthfulness. It just felt right. The Holy Ghost would not be knocking me down into chairs, but rather give me good, peaceful feelings as I read God's word, this sounded and felt right to me.

Although I was gaining a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, I was scared to meet with the missionaries because I felt like all they would want to do is baptize me. I told JJ that I didn't need to meet with the missionaries and that he could be my missionary. I quickly found out that it doesn't work like that in this church and that you have to have the discussions in order to get baptised to be sure you really understand the commitment and doctrines. Reluctantly I met with the missionaries at JJ's sister and brother in law's house, and JJ would come of course. The missionaries that taught me were Elder Willingham and Elder Durrant. I was gaining a testimony of the church and knew that it was true, but was still hesitant to be baptised because I knew that this was going to be a life change for me. During my first discussion the spirit was strong, but it wasn't until the very end when Elder Willingham bore his testimony to me of the truthfulness of this church that the spirit hit me so strong and there was then no way that I could ever deny it. It was as if I could feel such a powerful feeling in my heart or my chest and it completely consumed me to the point where tears of joy were running down my face. I have yet to have felt the spirit that strongly testify to me. I knew what I had to do. I knew that God was telling me that I was on the right path, that this was His true church that He established on the earth. I knew that Joseph Smith was the humble boy that He chose to establish this church and become its first prophet, and I knew that Joseph Smith received revelation from God to do so.

So I entered the waters of baptism in the way that God has directed us and by the proper authority in His church, and I can honestly say that was the best decision that I have ever made in my entire life. Every ounce of joy that I feel to this day can be traced back to that very important choice I made on November 23, 2003. I feel very blessed to now say that my husband baptised me and brought me the greatest gift one person could ever bring to another in this life. I am eternally grateful to him for it.